Riddles - Woman Criticizes Man

Snoring Solutions

This lady goes to a vet and learns that if you put a ribbon around a snoring dog's penis he'll roll over and stop snoring.
The next night her dog is snoring so she goes to the kitchen and gets a red ribbon and ties it around her dog's penis. His snoring stopped. Later on that night her husband is snoring and so she goes to the kitchen and gets a blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's penis, and he stops snoring. The next morning her husband wakes up and looks at his dog and looks down at himself. "I don't know what happened last night, but it appears we came in first and second."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Anonymous

Nothing To Eat

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other." The tattoo artist begins his work, but is a bit confused, so he says, "Lady, I'll do anything my customers want, but I gotta ask, why would you want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?" "Well, if you really want to know," she firmly answers, "I'm sick and tired of my husband telling me that there's never anything to eat between the holidays."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous

A Woman in the Morning?

Q: What does a woman do with her asshole in the morning?
A: Sends him to work.

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Work & Office Jokes , Riddles
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Anonymous
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