Hiding in a Tree

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by the police. The girls decided to go up three different trees and hide. The brunette hid in the apple tree. The redhead hid in the lemon tree, and the blonde hid in the oak tree. The policeman went to the apple tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The brunette went, "meow." The policeman said to himself, "Oh, its just a cat stuck up in a tree!" Then he went over to the lemon tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The redhead went, "bark bark." The policeman said to himself, "Oh, its just a dog stuck up in a tree!" Then he went over to the oak tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The Blonde went, "Acorn, acorn!"

Substance on the Field

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Chicago Police

Q: Did you know the Chicago Police have seen a 73% increase in gang member arrests from last year?
A: They replaced the sirens in Police cars with loud-speakers playing the National Anthem.