How to Break Up A Crowd

A Scottish cop was asked how he'd break up a crowd.
He answered, "I'd take up a collection!"

Drug Dog

I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, "My dog says you have weed in the car." I responded, "Well I don't know about that, but I want whatever's got you talking to the dog!"

Police Station Robbery

There was a robbery at my local Police Station the other day. The thieves stole the toilet seat and the cops don't have anything to go on... There's just a big hole now and the cops are looking into it!