How to Break Up A Crowd

A Scottish cop was asked how he'd break up a crowd.
He answered, "I'd take up a collection!"

Drug Dog

I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, "My dog says you have weed in the car." I responded, "Well I don't know about that, but I want whatever's got you talking to the dog!"

Stop the Drunk Driver

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"
The driver said, "You buyin'?"