Cat ate the Duck

Q: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A: A duck-filled fatty puss!

College Exam Plea

O Lord, hear my anxious plea Calculus is killing me I know not of 'dx' or 'dy' And probably won't until the day I die. Please, Lord, help me in this hour As I take my case to the highest power. I care not for fame or loot Just help me find one square root. And Lord, please let me see One passing mark in organic chemistry. Oh such a thing I constantly dread I'd just as soon join the Marines instead. Lord, please give me a sign That you've been listening all the time. Please lead me out of this constant coma And give me a shot at my diploma. 

Names For Nuts

Q: What do you call nuts on a wall?
A: Walnuts.
Q: What do you call nuts on a chest?
A: Chestnuts. 
Q: What do you call nuts on a chin?
A: A Blow Job.