Three Wise Men

In a small southern town there was a beautiful Nativity Scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. Yet one small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation,  I left.
At a local gas station on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!"  I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.  She jerked her Bible from behind the counter, ruffled through some pages and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said  "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar.'"

Is Eve an African?

Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!

Cooking With The Bible

Newlyweds Kaitlyn and Brandon were having an argument about who should brew the coffee. Brandon said, "You're in charge of cooking, so you should do it." Kaitlyn replied, "No, you should do it because it says in the Bible that the man makes the coffee." Brandon was shocked to hear this and asked his beautiful new blonde wife to show him the passage. Full of excitement, Kaitlyn ran to the Good Book to prove for the first time how wrong her new husband was. She opened the Bible and pointed to where it said: "HEBREWS"