Committing Adultery

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery. "Oh, no," said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. "Was it with Marie Brown?" "I'd rather not say who it was." "Was it with Betty Smith?" "I'd rather not say," says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe's friend asks if he received absolution. "Yes, and two very good leads!"

Asian JW

Q: What do you call Jehova's Witnesses in Chinese
A: Ding Dong

Lord's Prayer Deal

The pope was weighting in line at Mc Donald's for lunch. When the manager came out to have a word. The manager told the pope that McDonald's would give 5 Million dollars to the church if he some how changed the Lord's prayer to give us today our daily hamburger instead of give us today our daily bread. The pope thought for a moment then said sorry I really can't. The manager then said, "Okay how about 40 million?" The pope said, "Okay well I'll talk to my top Cardinal about it." So the pope goes and sees the Cardinal and says, "I've got some good news and some bad news." The Cardinal says well lets hear the good news first. The Pope then says, "I can get the us 40 million dollars to put a church were ever they want." "The bad news is we are going to have to break the deal with Brumbies."