Lesson In Liars

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for the lesson, I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark." The following week at the beginning of the class, the teacher said, "Now all who have prepared for today's lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please come to the front." Half the class stood up and came forward. "The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk speak to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark!"

Lord's Prayer Deal

The pope was weighting in line at Mc Donald's for lunch. When the manager came out to have a word. The manager told the pope that McDonald's would give 5 Million dollars to the church if he some how changed the Lord's prayer to give us today our daily hamburger instead of give us today our daily bread. The pope thought for a moment then said sorry I really can't. The manager then said, "Okay how about 40 million?" The pope said, "Okay well I'll talk to my top Cardinal about it." So the pope goes and sees the Cardinal and says, "I've got some good news and some bad news." The Cardinal says well lets hear the good news first. The Pope then says, "I can get the us 40 million dollars to put a church were ever they want." "The bad news is we are going to have to break the deal with Brumbies."

Cannibal Food

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"