Two Nuns At A Restaurant

Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was. They ask the waiter who replies  "Oh Sister, those are nuts." She answers "Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?" "No. The kind you rock on a crack."

Pope and Michael Jackson

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson.  If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest!

Burnt Business Corrections

There was a guy who owned his own business. He sold plastics to many different companies. One day one of his warehouses burnt to the ground. This led to many orders being canceled and a loss of customers. The insurance company was not going to cover the damage. This guy was in real trouble. He could lose everything. Well, the guy decided to see his minister. He said to the minister, "I need help! My warehouse burnt to the ground, my product is all gone, my customers are leaving, and I am losing everything!" The minister told him, "You can find all the answers to your problems in the Bible." The guy asked, "Where should I start?" The minister answered, "If you do not know where to look, just open the book and place your finger on the page, and start right there. Sooner or later you will find your answers." Well, A few months later the minister ran into the individual. It was obvious the individual had become very successful. He had a new car, new clothes, several rings and chains. The guy walks over to the minister and says, "Thank you. The answers I found turned my life around!" The minister was curious and said, "In what passage did you find your answers?" The man says, "I did just what you said. I opened the Bible to a spot, looked down, and found my answer staring me right in the face - "Chapter 11."