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Religion Jokes - Nun / Priest Jokes
Truck Driver, Priest, and Lawyer
A truck driver was zooming down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his obligation, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and the driver aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn't see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. "I'm sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road." But the priest said, "Don't worry, son. I got him with my door."
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Holy Car Accident
A rabbi and a priest were driving one day and by a freak accident have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of the holy men are injured.
After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!" Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth."
The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!"
The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here's another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine I was carrying did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune."
The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.
The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?"
The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."
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Priest, Rabbi and Little Boy
A priest and a rabbi walk through the woods and come upon a little boy. The rabbi says, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" The priest says, "Screw him." The rabbi says, "Yes, but outta what?"
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