Rabbi Or Priest?

Q: What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A: A rabbi cuts it off, and a priest sucks it off.

Truck Driver, Priest, and Lawyer

A truck driver was zooming down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his obligation, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and the driver aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn't see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. "I'm sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road." But the priest said, "Don't worry, son. I got him with my door."

Seven Dwarfs in Rome

The seven dwarfs were in Rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?" "Sorry," she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here." "Well, are there any in the city." "No, there are no dwarf nuns." "What, none anywhere in Europe?" "No, little man." "None in the entire world." "Take my word for it." At this 6 of the seven dwarfs burst out laughing. The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?" "Dopey just fucked a penguin".