Religion Jokes - Jewish Jokes

Lack Of Meat In Poland

A Journalist has to write a story on the lack of meat in Poland. So he goes off to Poland and asks the people: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Poles reply: "Meat? What is meat?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in Poland he goes to the USSR and asks the Soviets: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Soviets reply: "Think? What is think?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USSR he goes to the USA and asks the Americans: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Americans reply: "Lack? What is lack?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USA he decides to go to Israel, and asks the Israelis: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" To which all the Israelis reply: "Excuse me? What is excuse me?"

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Anonymous

Salman Rushdie's Sequels

Q: Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"?
A: 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Holy Men & A Lawyer

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn." "No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door,and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal." His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asked. The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!" That leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

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Anonymous
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