Jewish Female President

The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother: "Mama, I've won the elections, you've got to come to the swearing- in ceremony." "I don't know, what would I wear?" "Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker" "But I only eat kosher food" "Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food" "But how will I get there?" "I'll send a limo, just come mama" "Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy. The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?"... "Her brother's a doctor!"

Rabbi's Advice

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes." "Take the poison," says the Rabbi.