Jason Kuller Dirty Talk

My last girlfriend wanted me to talk dirty to her in the bed. I'm no wild-man in the sack. Don't let the glasses and the hip threads fool you. I had a hard time with the degrading, profane language because I was raised a proverbial nice, Jewish boy. So this is how I would talk dirty to her, it's embarrassing, "You really like my schmeckle, don't you? I am gonna schtupp you so hard. Don't make me stick it in your tushie."

Conversion

A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong". 
"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian".  "What did you do?",  asked the lawyer.  "I turned to God for the answer," replied the rabbi.  "And what did he say?"  He said, "Funny you should come to me..."

What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?

Q: What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
A: Reservations.