Jason Kuller Dirty Talk

My last girlfriend wanted me to talk dirty to her in the bed. I'm no wild-man in the sack. Don't let the glasses and the hip threads fool you. I had a hard time with the degrading, profane language because I was raised a proverbial nice, Jewish boy. So this is how I would talk dirty to her, it's embarrassing, "You really like my schmeckle, don't you? I am gonna schtupp you so hard. Don't make me stick it in your tushie."

Conversion

A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong". 
"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian".  "What did you do?",  asked the lawyer.  "I turned to God for the answer," replied the rabbi.  "And what did he say?"  He said, "Funny you should come to me..."

Back In The Closet

A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?" He answers, "Monica Lewinsky." There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"