Leaving a Legacy

An elderly man was lying in the hospital, dying with an incurable illness. His wife, a strong Christian, called her parish and asked the priest if he would mind going to her husband and speaking with him. The priest came to the man's bedside and stood on his right. They began to talk about how wonderful Heaven would be. They discussed angels and the glorious gifts this good man would receive in Heaven. "You know, sir," the priest said, "you can't take all your riches with you when you die. Why not contribute some money to your Church? We've been in need of a new stained-glass window. I think that would be just the thing to leave behind your legacy. Why, you can even have a message or a passage inscribed on it!" The man thought for a moment and said, "That sounds very good, Father. How much would this window cost?" "Oh, I'd say about $10,000 should cover it." The poor man nearly burst when he heard this, but knowing that what the priest had said was true -- he couldn't take his riches with him -- he decided to go ahead and fulfill the priest's suggestion.
He retrieved his check book and was just about to write out the check when the doctor came in and stood on his left. "Here's your medical bill, sir," the doctor said. This bill was also astronomical and the poor old man nearly died in shock. He filled out a check and gave it to the doctor. As he began writing the check for the priest, when he got an idea. "Father," he said, "did you say I could have anything I wanted written on that window?" "Yes, sir, of course," the priest said. The man began to scribble on the check and passed it to the priest. "What do you want written on your window, sir," asked the priest. "Look at the check," the man said. The priest looked down at the memo line at the bottom of the check. The man had written: "On my stained glass window I want written, 'In Memory of John T. Smith. He died like Christ -- between Two Thieves.'"

Pope and Lawyer

The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven. When they arrive at the gates, there's a mad rush of angels, saints, and other holy people on their way to greet them. When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The pope is deeply saddened. St. Peter sees this and goes over to him and says, "Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer."

Write and Wrong

A writer dies and reaches the Golden Gates where God gives him a choice to either go to Heaven or Hell. He finds it difficult to make up his mind so he asks God if he can have a little tour of both places.
God agrees and they first go to Hell where the writer sees rows and rows of writers, chained to their desks in an overheated room, being whipped if they stopped writing for a second by merciless editors and publishers. This really frightens the writer who then proceeds to Heaven hoping it'll be better.
In Heaven too he sees rows of writers, chained to their desks in an over heated room, being whipped mercilessly.
So he turns to God and says, "But they're both the same!"
To which God replies, "Oh no. Here in Heaven your work gets published!"