A Visit to Hell

Two friends die. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, "Wow, you were a son of a bitch when we were alive! Hell looks better than Heaven." So the friend in Hell says, "Pour yourself a glass of wine." The heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that the glass has no bottom. The good friend looks at the bad one in confusion, and the bad friend says, "The glass has no bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Hell."

Adam Talks To God.

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?" GOD replied, "Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create." So Adam says, "When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?" "I did that, Adam, so that you could love her." "Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?" "I did that Adam so that you could love her." "Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid?  Certainly not so that I could love her?" "Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you"

The Taxi Driver

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool. 'Wow, thank you" said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. "Wait, I think you are a little mixed up", said the priest. "Shouldn't  I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word." "Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!"