Ahmed's Clock

Q: What did Ahmed say about his sudden fame after building a clock?
A: "I didn't think it would blow up like that."

On the Edge

There’s a knock on the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks out and sees a man waiting to come in. Saint Peter goes out and is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A short time later there’s another knock. Again Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears. Saint Peter has just gone back inside when there’s yet another knock. Sure enough, the man is back standing at the Gates. “Are you playing games?” says Saint Peter. “No,” replies the man. “ They’re trying to resuscitate me.”

Golfer Hit the Ball a Long Way

A golfer hit his drive 300 yards right down the middle on the first hole. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight a thim. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?" "Yes, I am," he replied. St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?" The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"