Asleep in Church

A husband and wife are in church. The preacher notices that the husband has fallen asleep and says to the wife, “Wake your husband up!” The wife answers, “You're the one who made him fall asleep, you wake him up!”

Prodigal Son Sermon

One day in church, the priest delivered a sermon based on the timeless story of the prodigal son. When he got to the point where the father sees his son returning and races out to meet him, the minister said "Throwing wide his arms, the father said..." A young boy jumped up & shouted, "YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Bragging Mothers

Once there were 3 Chinese mothers in a church. They always liked to compete with their sons. First mother: My son is a priest. Whenever people see him they say, "Oh my priest!" Second mother: Oh yeah, my son is a bishop. Whenever they see him they say, "Oh my bishop!" Third mother: (after thinking a bit) Well my son is a fat, lazy pig and whenever people see my son they say, "Oh my God!"