Existence

Q: How do I know anything really exists?
A: Kick it *really* hard.

Blonde Confessing Sins

A blonde girl went to confess her sins. "Father, please pray for me for I've sinned," she said. The priest asked, "What did you do my child?" "I was driving and it was dark and I ran over a horse." "Oh," said the priest and he continued to ask, "did you tell the owner?" "I'm afraid that's impossible," said the girl. "Why is it?" the priest asked. "'Because I think the owner was riding the horse when I hit the horse." "Oh Lord, have mercy," said the priest gasping.

God Invented Lawyers

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.