A Lawyer Died

A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes. Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool. At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters. By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?" The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of Popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

Same Exact Answer

This simple three question test illustrates how often Bill Clinton must be telling lies. 1. Is the Pope catholic? 2. Does Windows have bugs? 3. Does Clinton lie? 

Talk with God

MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair.
GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.
MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes.
GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.
MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense.
GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!