Lesson In Liars

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for the lesson, I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark." The following week at the beginning of the class, the teacher said, "Now all who have prepared for today's lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please come to the front." Half the class stood up and came forward. "The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk speak to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark!"

Shorts in the Shower

Q: Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?
A: They don't like to look down on the unemployed.

A Preacher's Sermon

A preacher phoned the city's newspaper. "Thank you very much," said he, "for the error you made when you announced my sermon topic for last Sunday. The topic I sent you was 'What Jesus Saw in A Publican.' You printed it as 'What Jesus Saw in a Republican' I had the biggest crowd of the year!"