Religion Jokes

Church Parrot

There once was a man that had five daughters their names are Char-relle, Zion, Keedie, Bria and Alexis. The man was called by God to a build a church. All five of his daughters suggested to him that he should make his church different from any other church. So he set out on a mission. He came to a animal store and ask to see a parrot. The lady said that the parrot can only be taught one thing to say. So he taught the parrot to say "open the door, open it wide and let the sinners come inside." The man and his daughters built the church and put the parrot by the door, and every time that someone came in he would say his line. One day a bum came in and the parrot said, "open the door, open it wide and let the sinners come inside." So the bum got kind of offended and said "What did you just say to me?!!" The parrot repeat his sentence, "Open the door, open wide and let the sinners come inside." Then the bum said, "If you say that to me one more time I will throw this rock at you." Without hesitation the parrot repeated what he was taught. Then suddenly the bum threw the rock at the bird and the bird said, "Close the door, close it quickly this stupid fool done threw a brick!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes)
Anonymous

Jews Yarmulkes

Q: Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
A: Because the little propellers cost extra!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Money Jokes (Rich People Jokes) , Money Jokes (Money Owed Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Riddles
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Anonymous

Hell's Temperatures

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hells all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days. After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this." So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks. So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dry spells that were hotter and longer than this." Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months. After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Devil Jokes) , Sports Jokes (Baseball Jokes)
Anonymous
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