Blow Up Dolls

I went to my local sex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? I said blonde. Then he asked Muslim or Christian?
I asked what's the difference? 
He said the Muslim blows itself up.

Evil Golf Leprechaun

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.

Conceited Doctors

Q: What is the difference between a brain surgeon and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a brain surgeon!