Blonde - Twins

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, "Honey that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" She nods her head and says, "Well, I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both came out positive!"

Happy Happy

A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. The first morning of her honeymoon after making love the young Japanese bride crawled out of the bed. When she bent down to pick up their clothes, a fart slipped out. She looked up and said: "Scuse prease, front hole so happy back hole whistle!"

Check Him Out

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa."