Falling Down The Stairs

A man tells his wife, "Honey, your mom fell down the stairs 15 minutes ago." The wife yells at him, "Why are you just telling me now?" He said, "Because I couldn't stop laughing."

Marriage Counseling

John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling. The pastor gets up and hugs Mary, and sits down. He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and third time, and then turns to John and says, "See that, John. Mary needs that EVERY DAY!"
John replies, "Well, that's fine, Pastor. But I can't bring her over here except on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Orgasm

Husband asked his wife "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"
She replied, "Because I don't like calling you at work."