Wife Reminder

Two guys always catch the train to work together; one is French, the other Italian. Every morning when the French guy gets on, he passes his fingers underneath his nose while sniffing and says "Aaahhh... Fifi!" He does this every day, so the Italian guy says to him one morning, "Why do you do that and say 'Aaahhh... Fifi?" The French man explains that Fifi is his wife, and he fingers her every morning and it reminds him of her all day. The next morning, the French guy gets on the trains and sniffs his fingers saying, "Fifi!" Then the Italian guy gets on and runs his whole arm under his nose and says, "Aaahhh... Maria!"

Back From Vacation

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. "But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.

Nonexistant

When you are married, nobody asks about your sex life. They know that you don't have one!