Made for Each Other

A friend of mine had told me he signed up with one of these on-line dating services.  So, I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife!

Halloween Party

A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. "Don't let me spoil a good time for you," she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed. After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, "I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around." She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched. There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered that they should go outside. Going to one of the cars, they made love. Prior to the midnight unmasking, she left and went home to wait for her husband to return so she could confront him. He arrived home about 1:00 a.m. and climbed into bed. She sat up and asked "Well, how was the party?" He replied, "It was no fun without you honey." She said, "I don't believe you. I bet you had lots of fun!" He replied, "Really, Honey. When I got to the party, some of the guys and I got bored and we went downstairs and played poker all night. But you know, that guy I loaned my costume to had one hell of a great time."

A Kid's View on Marriage

A Kid's View on Marriage
What Exactly Is Marriage?

• "Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" - Eric, six years old
• "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." - Anita, nine years old

• "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." - Kelly, nine years old
• "My mother says to look for a man who is kind... That's what I'll do... I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." - Carolyn, eight years old

• "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, five years old

• "They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down... It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old
• "My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind." - Jeremy, eight years old

• "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." - Martin, ten years old
• "Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." - Craig, nine years old

• "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." - Allan, ten years old
• "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you... If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." - Kally, nine years old

• "You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan" - Kirsten, ten years old
• "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" - Anita, nine years old
• "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." - Will, seven years old