Wrong Instructions

A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter`s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure.
As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband.
The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor, a Rich Doctor!"

Small World

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"

Husbands Can't Win

Brandon was reading Yahoo news and came across a study that said women use more words than men. It read, "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000." Excited to prove to his new wife Kaitlyn that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results. Kaitlyn thought for a while, then finally said to Brandon, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say." Brandon said, "What?"