Mood Ring

I've had terrible mood swings lately so my husband purchased a mood ring for me.  The hope was that by monitoring the ring we would get some insights into my moodiness.  We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns bright green.  When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fucking forehead.  Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

World's Greatest Lover

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

Polygamy And...

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, "The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife; this is called polygamy. We believe in having only one wife, this is called monotony"