Hop On Pop

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."

Poor Man to the Pub

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.'' The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?'' The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

Man and Wife Wrinkles

Man to wife: ''Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!'' Wife: ''They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!'' Man: ''Nothing is that freakin' funny!''