iPhone Trouble

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?
I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. 
My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.
September came by, so for my wife’s birthday I bought her an iRon.
It was around then that the fight started. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iBitch.
Which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.

My Call

A doctor rushed out of his study room. "Get me my bag!" he shouted. "Why, what's the matter?" inquired his pretty young wife. "Some fellow just phoned and said he can't live without me," he gasped as he reached for his hat. The young wife sighed. "Just a moment," she said gently. "I think that call was for me."

Wife Buried Her Husband

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"