Breakfast Fight

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor. "Getting a second opinion!"

Thanksgiving Story

A young boy after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, "Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?" "That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard!" replied his daddy as he ducked.

Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only"   Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.  The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."  So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain."  The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.  The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome."  Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."  They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.  On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome."  The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left.  Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman!"