Anniversary Present

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Benz. I figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at least like the car, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied; "Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, she would at least like the trip, and she would know that I love her." The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said; "Yah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a tee-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the tee-shirt, she could go fuck herself."

Hotness Scale

I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven.

Request For A Raise

The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

• Has to work hard
• Has to work at great depths
• Has to work upside down
• Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
• Has to work in a high humidity environment
• Has to work at high temperatures
• Does not get weekends and holidays off
• Does not get time off after extra hours of work
• Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Request DENIED for the following reasons:

• Does not work 8 hours in a row
• Does not answer immediately to all requests
• Does not have a degree
• After a short activity period, falls asleep at work
• Shows no fidelity to the workplace
• Retires too early
• Does not work at all unless pushed from behind
• Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.