Hotness Scale

I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven.

You Tube Star

My girlfriend who works for YouTube is a famous porn star.
She'll kill me if she finds out.

Beware of Spot

A man goes to pick up his date for the evening. She’s not ready, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of wind and needs to relieve some pressure . The family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let out a little fart and if anyone notices they’ll think the dog did it. He farts, and the mother yells, “Spot, get down from there.” The man thinks, “Great, they think the dog did it.” He releases another fart, and the mother again yells for the dog to get down. This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally, the mother yells, “Dammit Spot, get down before that bastard craps on you.”