Three Beautiful Daughters

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" "No." The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" "No." The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.

10 Things Not to Say to a GirlFriend's Parents

10 Things Not to Say to a GirlFriend's Parents The First Time You Meet Them
1. My parole officer thinks Teri has a calming effect on me.
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
3. Which one of you taught Monica to give such great head?
4. Can you believe it those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now, my wife can be rather vindictive at times.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
7. Angie is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
8. Nice place you've got here, that painting looks expensive, I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Monica's will be okay too.
10. Can I put my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost...

Friends

Ever since I downloaded AdBlock on my computer...
All the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.