Best Date Ever

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.  He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in.  "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.  Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw?  I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally, this comes as as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it.  "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!"  Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up and his plans for the evening were beginning to look pretty good.
A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.  About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father, "Dammit Daddy! It's called the twist!"

Couples Compliments

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

Love Graph

I'm making a graph of my past relationships...
I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.