Spouse Insomnia

Q: If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure?
A: Ask the accountant to talk about their work.

Got it All

My girlfriend has everything I look for in a woman.
Tits and a pulse

Newlywed Honeymoon Truths

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room. When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me." So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested. The husband says, "I can deal with that." He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you anyway." The husband says, "I have something to confess also." She says, "No matter what I will still love you." He says, "Okay. I am built like a baby down there." She says, "I can deal with that." So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up. She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah.... 7lbs, 21inches."