Divorce Disorder

My Aunt got a divorce and I asked how she felt. She said, "I thought I had an anxiety disorder but it turns out it was just your Uncle."

Deadly Golf Game

One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they frequently did together. They arrived at the 12th hole where the husband promptly hit a tremendous slice that ended up behind an old barn. "I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man. "No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn." The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly. The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself of golf the whole time. Eventually he realized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play. Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn. As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his foursome asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn. "Oh no," replied the man, horrified. "I tried that last time." "What happened?" "I shot an 8!"

So She Would Love You

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God replies, "So she would love you."