Love Through the Shades

It was their fifth anniversary, and Al and Alice had just returned from the movies. Alice was feeling romantic. 'Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?' she crooned. 'Why not?' Al grunted. 'Didn't I love you through four other shades?'

Coming Home Late

Dave's friends came up to him after work one day and asked him to go out for a few beers with them. Dave replied, ''No, I can't. My wife gets really pissed if I come home late.'' Dave's friend said, ''When you get home, just go slide beneath the sheets, pull her panties down and give her oral sex. She won't say anything.'' So Dave goes out with his friends and has a great time. When he comes home hours later, he goes into his room and slides beneath the sheets. He pulls down her panties and begins to give her oral sex. She starts to moan and groan. After a while, Dave tells her that he has to go take a leak and for her to wait there. When Dave gets to the bathroom he's stunned to see his wife sitting on the john. ''How did you get here?'' he asked. ''Shhhh,'' she replied, ''my mom is sleeping.''

Useless Parts Of A Man

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?

1. He has an Adam's apple that isn't an apple.
2. Two calves that will never become cows.
3. A nose bridge that doesn't lead anywhere.
4. A roof of the mouth that won't cover anything.
5. Twenty nails that won't hold a board.
6. A chest that won't hold linen.
7. Two boobs that won't give milk.
8. Two buns that won't feed anyone.
9. A belly button that won't button.
10. Two balls that won't roll.
11. An ass that won't pull a plow.
12. An organ that won't play music.
13. A cock that won't crow.