Married Life

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Elderly Wedding

Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married. Their doctor took each one into his office separately to try and talk them out of it. He called in the woman and told her that the man had already suffered two heart attacks. She told the doctor that she didn't care. The doctor called in the man and told him the woman was suffering from acute angina. "I know!" he said. "I peeked."

Knee Pains

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, "There must be something you're doing that you haven't told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your knees?" "Well," she said a little sheepishly, "my husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor every night." "That's got to be it," said the doctor. "There are plenty of other positions and ways to have sex, you know." "Not if you're going to watch T.V. there ain't," she replied.