Apologetic Spouse

"Mrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. How come?"
"Well, every year, he comes back to apologize."

Form Vs Function

A woman sits opposite a fat man on a bus and can’t help making a comment. “If that stomach was on a woman I’d think she was pregnant.” The fat man replies, “It was. She is.”

Girlfriends' Hit

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. His face is all bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what in the world happened to you?" The guy says, "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore." "Yeah?" asks the bartender. "What did she do?" "She hit me with her bag of quarters!"