More Redneck One - Liners!

You just might be a Redneck if:

• You've ever tried to drown a fish.
• You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
• Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
• You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
• More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
• Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
• Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.
• None of your shirts cover your stomach.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
• You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
• You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
• Your family tree does not fork.
• Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
• You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
• The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
• Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
• Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
• You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
• Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
• The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
• Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.
• You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
• Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
• You let you kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.

Pickup Line - Infected

You might be a redneck if your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"

Redneck Family Tree

You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath.