You Might Be A Redneck 50

You might be a redneck if...

• You think cur is a breed of dog.
• People hear your car long before they see it.
• Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
• Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
• Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
• Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
• Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
• You've ever hitchhiked naked.
• You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
• Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You Might be a Redneck If... You have

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever worn hunter's orange to church.
• You have barnyard animals living in your house.
• Every pair of jeans you own has a tobacco can ring worn in one of the rear pockets.
• Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, "Gun control is a steady hand."
• Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat.
• You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.
• You have ever shot a possum on your porch.
• You don't use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you can't see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbors' dogs when they get into it.
• You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup.
• You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house... not including 22 caliber. 

You Might Be a Redneck If... Endless

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.
• Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.
• Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.
• You picket your horses on your lawn so you won't have to mow it.
• You're wearing a camouflage jacket and dipping in your driver's license pic.
• You stop to flirt with the person running the drive through at McDonalds.
• You save old kitchen appliances for target practice.
• You save old kitchen appliances for children's Christmas presents.
• You get up EARLY on Saturday to go yard sale shopping for entertainment.
• Your gun cabinet takes up half your living room.