You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 40

You might be a redneck if...

• There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
• Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
• There is a wasp nest in your living room.
• The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
• You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
• There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
• You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
• Fewer than half of your cars run.
• You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Redneck Christmas Shopping

You know you're a redneck when...
you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

Redneck One - Liners Extended

You might be a Redneck if...

• You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
• You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
• You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
• The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
• You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
• Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
• Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
• You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
• Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
• You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.