You Might Be a Redneck If... VI

You might be a redneck if...

• Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
• Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
• Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
• Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
• Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
• Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
• Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
• The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. 

You Might Be a Redneck If, Your High School...

Your high school annual yearbook is now a mug shot book for the police department.

Signs You Might Be a Redneck II

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever made change in the offering plate.
• The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
• You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
• You own at least 20 baseball hats.
• You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
• You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
• When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
• Your screen door has no screen.
• Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one that hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."