Redneck One - Liners Continue

You might be a redneck if...

• Duct tape and wire are the only two things holding your truck together.
• Your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads. "
• You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.
• You've ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she'd take the hint.
• Your kids learned to shoot before they learned to walk.
• You place a classified asking less than $1.
• You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.
• Higher math means counting over 10.
• The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.
• You have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket and a lucky rabbit nailed above your fireplace

You Might Be A Redneck 50

You might be a redneck if...

• You think cur is a breed of dog.
• People hear your car long before they see it.
• Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
• Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
• Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
• Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
• Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
• You've ever hitchhiked naked.
• You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
• Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Redneck Car Exhaust

You might be a redneck if your exhaust system incorporates more than three wire hangers and at least two juice cans.