You Might Be a Redneck If... 18

You might be a redneck if...

• Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
• Your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
• When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
• You have a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't.
• You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
• Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
• You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
• Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
• You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
• You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial. 

Redneck Girlfriend

You might be a redneck when you say ho-down and your girlfriend hits the ground.

You Might Be A Redneck 48

You might be a redneck if...

• You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
• Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.
• Your masseuse uses lard.
• Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• On stag night, you take a real deer.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.