Three Redneck Lies

1. The pickup is paid for.
2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Date Night

Q: What did the redneck say to the mermaid when she asked him on a date?
A: Shore

Redneck Logic

Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him. When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the other and says, "What kinda bird you reckon that was?" The other hunter replied, "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it. "How's that?" "You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?"