Redneck Mole Removed

Q: Did you hear about the redneck who went to the hospital to have a mole removed from his d*ck?
A: He swore off sex with them creatures forever.

Trebuchet Toss

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“
I said, “This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 38

You might be a redneck if...

• A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, "About what?"
• You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
• Your neighbor spits grass when he talks.
• In the delivery room, your husband says,"That's worse than skinning a deer!"
• You have sworn on your mother's grave while she is standing beside you.
• You refer to your cousin as "my girlfriend."
• You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.
• You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
• You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest.
• Your lips move while reading a stop sign.