You Might Be a Redneck If... Endless

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.
• Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.
• Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.
• You picket your horses on your lawn so you won't have to mow it.
• You're wearing a camouflage jacket and dipping in your driver's license pic.
• You stop to flirt with the person running the drive through at McDonalds.
• You save old kitchen appliances for target practice.
• You save old kitchen appliances for children's Christmas presents.
• You get up EARLY on Saturday to go yard sale shopping for entertainment.
• Your gun cabinet takes up half your living room. 

Buckwheat 'n Darla

Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?  "Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb.".  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."  She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'.  "Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."  Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictate'."  Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence."  "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"

Partial Deck

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."