Shoe Shopping

I shop for shoes the way black men hit on women. It has to jump out and grab me.

Hung Like a Blackman

A guy is walking along the beach and he stumbles on a Genie Bottle. He rubs it and out pop two Genies. He makes three wishes. When he gets home, he hears a knock on the door and outside there are 20 beautiful naked women. Walking back inside he sees a briefcase sitting on his coffee table. Opening it he see $20 million dollars. "Wow, my first two wishes have come true!" he yells. He gets ready to do his thing with the women when he hears another knock on the door. When he opens the door there are two Ku- Klux- Klan guys. First, they beat  him up, then they tar and feather him. Next, they take him out back and lynch him. When the KKK guys are sure he is dead, they take their hoods off to reveal the two Genies! The first Genie turns to the second and says, "You know, I can understand his first two wishes but why would he want to be hung like a black man?"

Mexican Delivery

Two Mexicans are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Nogales, AZ. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies "Mexican eggs."
The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it. She calls for immediate backup from headquarters, the Border Patrol and the Swat Team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.
"I stopped a Tractor-Trailer with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it. two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle."