Change

Two black guys come upon a new store that claims to have a machine that will turn them white for 10 dollars. The first black guy has a 20$ bill with him and the second only has a 5$ bill. So the first black guy says, "How about I go in and use the machine and then ill come out and give you my change?" They both agree on the plan and the first black guy proceeds to go in. About 15 minutes later, the guy comes out completely white. He has a nice Rolex Watch, and a business mans suit on. The second black guy that had been waiting says, "Oh my God it worked!! Can I get your change to get mine done?" He responds "Get a job nigger"

Looking for a Monkey Wrench

An old farmer is driving down a country road in his pickup truck when it starts making an awful noise. He stops the truck and crawls underneath to investigate the problem."Hmmm...muffler's loose. I bet I could fix that if I had a Monkey Wrench." He says.  He crawls out from underneath the truck and looks down the road. Off in the distance he sees a small house. There is a black woman and several small black children playing in the yard. The Farmer yells to her, "Hey Miss, do you happen to have a Monkey Wrench?"  "What?" She yells back.  "A Monkey Wrench!!?" He screams."What?"  "MONKEY WRENCH!!?...MONKEY WRENCH!!?"  "Naw, this ain't no Monkey Ranch, its a Day Care Center!"

Girls Prep School Social

The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"